How many lines do we walk?

So, after some rather deep conversation something struck a bit of a chord within me. The discussion was about the differences between Truth, Brutal Honesty, and Downright Rudeness.

It became immediately apparent that the lines that separate these three things are not only thin, but very grey. It ends up being more dependant on the person on the receiving end; that is to say how easily upset they are and how apt they are to letting someone hurt their feelings.

Each person has thier own perception of what is truth, what is brutal honesty, and what is rude.

The issue, is that not everyone's perception of these is the same......so who's perception is the right one? Is anyone's?

So after sleeping and thinking about this some more, I find myself wondering just how many other situations this applies to. How many lines are we each walking on a daily basis? hourly? every minute? every second?

I find myself wanting to ask people what they consider the difference to be between truth, brutal honesty, and rudeness now that this topic has come up....and maybe after that, I'll find some other "lines" to poll about.

Sometimes I really just think as a society we have all grown too "soft"....that we have all come to a point where we are so concerned with all the opinions besides our own that what other people think is capable of hurting our feelings so easily. We have evloved into a "bleeding heart society" and now governments, agencys, committees, etc. all create "rules" and "regulations" and "standards" to "protect" everyone's feelings. We are censored; forced to comform.....to be "politically correct".

It is rediculous......what happened to being able to be yourself? If I hurt someone's feelings....who's fault is it?

Is it my fault for saying it? Is it yours for caring what I think?

What if someone asks me a question, and at the end of the question says 'be honest'.....and I say something honest, but it is inherently a put-down? Am I at fault if I hurt their feelings? or can they value my honesty and accept it? afterall, they asked for my honesty right?

So what about you? Do you live your life expecting everyone to have something nice to say all the time? Do you like everything to come with a grain of salt, or a grain of sugar? Maybe there is no right answer, maybe it all depends on context....but what then, can be standardized?

There-in lies the beauty of human interaction.

Analyzing myself a bit....

So recently I have been talking with a couple close friends about their relationship issues (I'm everyone's favorite 'friend-to-confide-in') and it somewhat made me realize a lot about myself. (I actually enjoy having deep conversations about life's battles and do not mind being everyone's go-to-guy BTW) It's funny how you sometimes don't realize certain things about yourself until you are speaking with a friend about your experiences to try to help them wrap their head around their own problems.

What I have realized, is that I just plain don't beleive in the traditional concept of dating.

The traditional way goes something like this:

Two people meet, act a certain way to impress each other, do fancy things to demonstrate "value", decide to date exclusively, give up a bunch of other things in their lives to spend time together, and then from there they slowly alienate their friends and family until they either break up or get married(afterall, those are really the only two outcomes of a relationship).....and if they break up they each somewhat "run back" to their friends for sympathy and try to re-kindle the things they let suffer.

I strongly disagree with this process. I have come to realize that I quite like my life the way it is when I am single. I play by my own rules, attend to all my hobbies, and have strong relationships with my best of friends. I am almost always in a great mood unless I am ill. Overall, I am more productive, and less stressed.

The thing that kills me with relationships, is that I have noticed this "trend" of after about 4-6 months of serious dating it seems females feel that they should be the single most important aspect of their significant other's daily life. They get upset when their boyfriend wants to go have guys nights, hang out and watch sports games with their friends, spend time on a hobby, etc. I honestly have yet to meet a girl that does not apply to this analysis. Why are we expected to allow all of the other parts of our lives suffer in favor of catering to a female's need for constant validation? In my opinion, what makes the human race so great is that we are all such different people despite the fact that on a molecular level we are the same. Each one of us has our own hobbies, interests, values, etc. Why can't we just appreciate that about each other? In my opinion, there should be just as much quality time APART as quality time TOGETHER. Now I am not saying I think that someone should literally not change anything about the way the live their life to accomodate a relationship, I just think the extent of the expectations that seem to exist in society are way out of line. It is all too rare to have a friend who's girlfriend doesn't give him a hard time about regularly spending time with his friends (who have been around much longer that her and have probably influenced his life a great deal more), let alone ENCOURAGE free time apart.

I would hope that I can meet someone who is very independant much like I am, someone with her own group of friends that she spends time with regularly, someone with their own career and goals established, someone driven, someone with hobbies of their own,etc. I think the best thing would be to have to people that can grow together yet keep in touch with their friends and continue to indulge in their hobbies and dreams without it negatively affecting the other person. Is this too much to ask? I don't think so... and honestly I feel the odds are in my favor, because from a statistics standpoint their are more women then men in the world.....so I think I can afford to be a bit more picky than a female.

Had an Interesting Dream About Death....

So last night I had a rather strange dream. It was quite vivid and I don't fully know how I feel about it. I had a dream that I was in a strange place, waiting in some sort of line. This line was similar to what you find in the height of the summer at an amusement park waiting for a ride. I remember there being friends and aquaintances in this line with me, and we were discussing how we did not know what we were waiting in line for. At some point, we discussed what the last thing we remember was before all of a sudden being in this line, and the realization was that we had died. While waiting in the line, there was a large hill that seemed to go downwards for eternity, and more and more people were headed up the hill and getting into line as well... and we would see more people we knew.

I don't quite know what to make of this dream, but it was pretty strange. Maybe I will get out the ol' sketchbook and color up the image I remember from the dream....

Trust

I'd like to take a few moments and do a little venting on the topic of trust and honesty. What the hell happened to this virtue? It really is a kick in the nuts these days with how afraid everyone is of honesty. This world has become so P.C. and soft to everyone's feelings that no one can beleive anything someone says to them anymore. What I HATE THE MOST, is when you catch someone in a lie.....and instead of admitting they are caught, they come up with more BS trying to cover up their lie.....especially when you've got PROOF they lied. Now I am a pretty trusting person, but nothing makes me turn my back on someone faster or more remorseless than when someone violates that trust. The fact is, many people don't get along with my friends because they are so honest its pretty brutal sometimes....but honestly(haha) I wouldn't have it any other way. I hate when people sugarcoat things and try to make you feel good.....give it to me straight, if I am doing something stupid or I look rediculous tell me. I'll actually even thank you for it. I do the same to people I actually give a crap about, and people that don't understand thing its rude or mean, but its something me and my friends expect from each other and respect each other FOR. If you look fat in your jeans, I'll tell you. If you look rediculous in the clothes your wearing, I'll tell you to change. If the way you are acting is totally un-warrented I'll tell you.

I'd expect the same from you.

Now, let me be frank....I'm not gonna sit here and say I've never lied.....but when I'm caught in a lie, I fess up and admit it, and take the consequences I deserve. Am I one of the few people that still lives by these standards? I sit here wondering why after all the times I find myself in this situation I am still surprised by it. I guess I can't bring myself to comprimise my values on trust and honesty.....it really just frosts my ass for lack of a better expression.

I only know of one or two people that actually read this thing.....but if you read this and don't know me.....try being moer honest with the people around you, it's pretty rewarding in the long run. If you know me and sugarcoat shit around me....STOP, and even if you don't....tell me when I look or act stupid, I won't get offended....I've got pretty thick skin.

Thanks for listening.

Where I come from isn't all that great
My automobile is a piece of crap
My fashion sense is a little whack
And my friends are just as screwy as me

I didn't go to boarding schools
Preppy girls never looked at me
Why should they I ain't nobody
Got nothing in my pocket

Look at all those movie stars
They're all so beautiful and clean
When the housemaids scrub the floors
They get the spaces in between

I wanna live a life like that
I wanna be just like a king
Take my picture by the pool
Cause I'm the next big thing!

The truth is...I don't stand a chance
Its something that you're born into...
And I just don't belong...

No I don't - I'm just a no class, beat down fool
And I will always be that way
I might as well enjoy my life
And watch the stars play